How Love Gets To The Table with this Small Family

I wanted a big family, but I only had six kids. Crazy? Big family to most? Of course.....I have always jumped in with both feet. It is important to me to have a home with tons of kids who feel totally safe. I only had six kids of my on and a few years ago I wondered to myself how I would deal with some of the time I had previously given to pregnancy, newborns and preschool age children. God knew. I have been given the amazing gift of filling my home with boys (I have only 2 boys and they are 10 year apart and 4 girls all only a couple years apart), 6 little boys a few days a week. What a sweet gift. The gift comes not just from the noise and the dirt and the plastic cups and the dirt and the noise and the dishes( you get the picture), the gift comes largely from watching my babies, my sweet little children who I have adored for so long, wondering what kind of people they would be, share their lives. This evening I watched all sorts of slides in my slide show of live over here in Berclair. I watched my 14 year old cleverly open the kitchen door window and name us Pike King and smack gum while taking orders for meatball subs and lemonade, all with a grin and giggling boys taking plates full of food. I watch my 11 year old offer to take my precious little neighbor boy home for a bath and some quiet until mom arrived home from work. I watched my nine year old play hard with 2 kindergarten age boys (only one being her actual brother) and giggle with glee with they both called for "sister, more jumping on the trampoline!" I watched with hope as my baby boy coughed and sputtered his way (recovering from sickness and allergies) to his best friend Adam after a a harsh spill was taken on his turn with the big bike. My evening ended watching my almost grown up son, who stands taller than me snuggle up on the couch for a movie with a room full of brothers and sisters, some by birth and some by spirit and delightfully pat the back of a little one who just needed a bit of extra attention. I was given the distinct opportunity to see exactly what I have hoped for, a bright and shining future, full of adults that I can call family changing lives one person at a time. I adore putting Love on the Table for my family, the neighborhood and anyone who will walk to the kitchen with a plate, but at the root of it, I am just one mean momma. Consistently inconsistent, frequently loud, often grumpy, and usually impatient with messes and noise, there is no way we could do this life the Lord has called us to without our children God has so graciously given me to learn from.
They carry love to the table, wash the dishes we serve it on and sweep the floors we spill on. These children remind me not to yell at another kid, that math isn't as important as a smile and it doesn't all have to be done. All six of these kids show me how to grow our family differently, hugely, and with ease in one way I hadn't imagined, one neighbor at a time into the kingdom. My little family have made this paradise with love on the table, Pike Paradise with Love on the Table that we are grateful to share more often than not.

These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

Share a Meal with Someone Who Has Given Up a Lifetime to Share Meals With You.

My sweet Grandpa has had multiple strokes here recently and the doctor has decided that he MUST stick to his diabetic diet (in addition to 100 other things on a list) to keep himself healthy. I was just there a month ago, measuring, reading labels, watching FOX news and napping sitting up on the couch while hanging out with two of the most AMAZING people at a place I fondly call "412" (not an area code a street number). BUT, a year or so ago Grandpa and Grandma and my family went out and we we were living large, we ate a feast, an unbelievable Greek feast at their favorite restaurant. I was so blessed to get the kids cleaned up and dressed from a day of playing with cousins, I pulled my hair back and said a prayer of thanks. I was thankful then and now for the chance to take two people out to dinner at their favorite place who had taken me out to eat and served so many meals in my lifetime. These two people took me to a Pizza Hut when I was 17 years old and I told them that I didn't have time or room for them in my life, that I couldn't deal with relationship. Grandma and Grandpa sat me down at their kitchen table with leftover Gumbo Burgers when I was 15 to tell me that if I wasn't going to behave with a certain boy I wouldn't be leaving the house again for the summer. Throughout my elementary years I spent summers eating zuchs from the garden covered with spaghetti sauce and mozzarella, zuchs with ranch, zuchs with salt and butter and tonnnnnns of fresh tomatoes, mostly on a back slab patio that as a family we have watch evolve to a covered room with drywall and everything. All summer while eating these meals I sucked up the sunlight, the Son of God, and the sweet smell of chlorine. I have shared many, many meals with my sweet Grandparents and last summer I had the blessing of buying a meal for two people who had foot the bill for so many of meals that involved so many long talks and for that night I sat back and listened to the table while my six kids had their on talks with them. It was an incredible blessing . Last month I served food to my grandpa and sorted out more questions over meals with my grandma. The conversations were different and I was pleasantly surprised that I had become a grown up right before there eyes at the kitchen table now with coffee instead of soda and I could handle another talk at the table over a meal AND I have become profoundly aware of how grateful I am for the meal I gave them last year before our lives all changed.
Have you thought about the meals you eat with the people you love the most?
Can you take an opportunity to give a sweet, un-warranted meal to someone who has given you meals for a lifetime
It is an important moment to take.
These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

Truly the Gift of Peace that Passes Understanding Found In the Quiet and Musing of Momma

Here in Pike Paradise it is not as loud as most would suppose, with 6 kids, a dog, a couple cats, some kind of lizard/dragon, a grouchy momma and a tired daddy. We have loud moments....when the washer is off balance, the math isn't finished, the dishes are stacked, the tvs are on, daddy is coming in from work and momma can't find her purse, but mostly not so loud. I am a momma that requires a level of peace and quiet, this is not totally obscure in a large family, it is just not always found in the most easily thought of places. I find quiet in the kitchen chopping onions, no one wants to come in the kitchen, I might give them a job at supper time. I find quiet at the dinner table full of all 8 of us, usually everyone is getting along for a minute and I can go to a place in my thoughts where gratitude lives. I can find quiet while I fold laundry, the sweet smell of fabric softener and the warmth of fresh towels is a place that I feel peaceful. I find quiet on Sunday mornings when I sit in the far right row with the kids taking communion remembering what the Lord did for me. I find quiet even when it is crazy and laughing or crying and fussing, because in the depth of my soul I know that there is a peace in this house that I must NEVER take for granted. I can not take for granted the peace when I am ranting (yes I rant like some take vitamins, once or twice a day just in case so no one gets out of line). I can not take for granted the peace we have in this home when I am watching the evening news and see there are so many who are not safe or loved and that there story has not turned out so nice as mine. I can not take for granted peace when I look at the picture of my friends sweet soldier son with his arm wrapped around me in a sweet embrace for a short visit home. I will not take for granted peace when I am chopping onions or heating left overs, because we get to eat. I must remember that peace is a gift, it isn't found or earned, or deserved, or obtainable outside of myself or because of anyone else. Peace will be felt and gratitude will be given over flowing today in our home with so much going on.
These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

Wondering,Wandering,Finding and Never Forgetting

So I wonder.....
I wonder about so many things throughout the day I am quite sure that it makes my family dizzy, especially my husband-
I wonder about the Apostolic Creed.
I wonder about what is for dinner tonight.
I wonder about the little boys that live two doors down.
I wonder about marriage and how it works itself out.
I wonder about communion and what it means, what is should mean.
I wonder why I should on myself.
I wonder about the great grief no one speaks of.
I wonder if the turkey broth will make good chicken soup.
I wonder how God spoke to Miss Helen and the Fowlers.
I wonder what happened in heaven when our marriage was redeemed.
I wonder what happened in heaven when I lost those babies.
I wonder what happened in heaven when the babies I had woke up this morning.
I wonder about atomic mass and the science of energy and how we think.
I wonder about the doctor who opened my tiny daughter up and fixed her heart.
I wonder if I will make cookies today.
I wonder if I am doing the right thing with my faith.
I wonder if some pain ever leaves.
I wonder if a certain peace is never meant to be experienced by some
I wonder if anyone gets some of the peace I know.
I wonder if any of my answers matter.
I have answers to some of these things I wonder about, but the answers change....often, and sometimes only slightly.
My heart has been broken over and over again by the Lord as I am understanding how much I really don't know and my heart has been mended over and over again by the Lord as I work through the brokenness caused by mere people who didn't know how to love me well.
Often my wondering brings me peace and understanding, sometimes my wondering brings me tears, because some things hurt. I don't believe that I will ever know the whys of some pains, because the only real why is we live in a fallen world with fallen people.
The peace I get when I understand something isn't so much the understanding, it is I believe,when I can see the Face of the Father and the Hand of God in any given experience be it Good or Bad and Know that He was present, ever present....He never left me.
My wondering has drawn me to more questions than answers, but I am grateful to wonder and sometime wander, and find that He is always there in the answers I get.
What do you wonder about?
What answers are you wandering from?
It is important to ask questions, to wonder, to regularly experience not having all the answers and being so delighted when you get an idea....and see He is there in it all.
These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

Maci and Maggie in the morning

Sarah and Maggie

DJ

Sarah and Morgan

martha

DJ

Maci

zach and holly (PROM 2009)

zach and long time childhood friend Bethany

Just shameless day of bragging on a few amazing people I love to pieces.

These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

Pink Pants for the Many Days of All Sort of Tears

I have never worn pink until now, but now I need pink. The pink reminds me that it is okay to walk around in a life I don't understand with days I thought I could never endure, grief that seems heavy and hope that seems somewhat overwhelming. I am wearing more pink.
I wore pink pants and a black shirt, I have dealt with 10 days of headaches, one bypass surgery with my mom, 2 rounds of strep with my twins, two bacterial infections with my 4 middle kids, some weird virus that I thought would kill my husband, a dryer that says,'klunk, da klunk, klunk' every time I put a load in, a broken water heater, a funny smell in the back of the house, becoming closely acquainted with my pest control guy, canceled two trips, had one amazing trip to see my family, break through seizures with my 5 year old, a wreck for my teen an his girl, loss of utilities, a bearded lizard of some sort that I understand ate her mate before she came to my home,one lost phone, one found phone, and an amazing marriage seminar for 5 (of 8) weeks that can only make this all more doable with my best friend and husband.
This is 2 months in the life of the Pike family....I have not loved every minute of it, much of it I have endured, not so patiently. I am grateful for most of it and I have loved a week or two of it, but through out it all I have had a team behind me, my network of sorts. To say this is the life I dreamed of would be a lie, I dreamed far less for my life, with a very different chaos, and much less love. I never dreamed of a life that I would where pink pants and a black shirt and think I looked amazing that Sunday morning.
I cry a lot these days, the days of pink pants. I cry when I am happy....when I watch my son with his sweet girl, I cry when I watch my teen daughter put on mascara, I cry when I watch my younger twin do a report, the doctors swore she would never do, I cry when I watch my 9 year old write stories and sleep peacefully next to our baby, I cry when our baby does kindergarten.....all of these tears have come between the happenings over the past two months, bright spots like my pink pants on a rainy Sunday morning.
I cry grief tears, when I see all the same children doing the same amazing things, about time lost in my life, memories never made, and pain that I never understood. But the days of the pink pants are not like the teary eyed days of years past, these are not days of depression or decomposition. These are the days of moving through finding relief, embracing health, coming to terms of agreement, redefining and acceptance of who I am and where I come from, days of figuring out where I come from. These are the days of the pink pants, new relationship with the same husband, different relationship with the growing kids, an understanding relationship with myself and figuring out how to puzzle it all together. These are the days of the pink pants.





These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

The Shoulders, The Shoulded, and Not to be Shoulded On

I decided to believe God for a family that was whole and loving. I decided that I would believe God for a marriage that would last and have deep meaning and health. I decided to fight the demons that haunt me from a life most can not fathom. I decide to hope for a future for kids that some believed we should never have. I decided to trust that the Word was True and not just a good idea. I decided that just because you say so isn't enough of a reason for me to quit, give up or decide your way is better. I decided that no one could or would pre-determine how I educated, fed, loved or continued having our children. I decided to trust myself and not the ones that had continued to be untrustworthy. My story is one of often difficult even painful decisions that have to be worth it or I wouldn't be able to breath. I am grateful, because my story has changed the very landscape of a family. God is good in my story and the "shoulders" are wrong. We were messed up and that was true, but God wasn't finished with my Story and having a back seat to healing as they 'shoulded' on me was not the place to be. There were a few who took front row seats and saw the pain and the hurt and dirty awful mess that this family was, up close and personal, but ohhhhhh, the Glory of God and the Joy witnessed as the healing has taken place and continues to take place, makes having the messy seats in our lives all the more worth it.
I know that some are reading my story and knowing they are a 'shoulder', I am not writing for you, I am writing the ones who dare to do what they are called to in the face of great pain and adversity, with peace.


I wondered as lay in my bed on September 1st, where I would be if I had listened to those who thought I shouldn't. Thought I shouldn't work on this marriage, thought I shouldn't stay in this family, thought I shouldn't have any more babies, and definitely thought I shouldn't be home educating.
The people who thought I shouldn't were many in number and they were the ones who should have been my greatest cheerleaders, on my side, but they all had opinions about what they thought I shouldn't be doing. I quit on them before they could quit on me. The thoughts were really more than that, they took action, made calls, wrote notes and even sought out 'the advice of authorities' to try and convince me other wise. None of them came and offered to wash dishes, hold the babies, or ask the how can we help questions. The dirty work was left to others, the 'unlikelys', and the unlikelys quickly had their sanity attacked as well....they didn't care if people 'shoulded' on them.
I find myself wondering if I hadn't done all the things I shouldn't have done where would I be and who would I not have in my life.
The most prominent thought on September 1st was that I wouldn't have my daughter who was turning 9 that morning. I definitely wouldn't have the 5 year old that I was scolded for conceiving. These well rounded, well educated teenagers who have become young people of integrity, seeking out the lost, and loving the unlovable, I wonder who they would be if I hadn't persisted and fought the 'should nots' and the authorities who were standing at my door.
The amazing 11 year olds who walk our cove loving neighbors who others had forgotten about, what if they had been taken as the should nots wanted them to be and properly educated by people less shakey in their lives. Oh, and the 9 and 5 year olds wouldn't even be, because we would not have conceived them, never mind had the audacity to bring them into this world with love and adoration, I wouldn't have dared.
I dared, I double dog dared, to go against the ones who thought we shouldn't. I fought with both fist up all the powers that be with prayer, and resources and with the help of only a few, and here we are.
I dare you to go against the 'shoulders' in your life who say what you should and shouldn't do, know that you know, that you know, that the good gifts He has given you are indeed good and fight for them, the marriage, the children, the faith, the hope, the belief that your dreams can come true.
This is my story today as I watch the 'shouldn't have beens' playing, and loving, and learning, and hoping for a future I am sure so many will say they shouldn't have. Don't believe it.

These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, 'happies'at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.