We Weave our On Web with a Chin Up

I have a child who is discontent and believes we are all out to get her. This is not true of course we all love and adore her, we all waited expectantly for her arrival and watched her for all the years of her life in delight. She is a middle child....sort of. I see a lot of myself in her, I am an only child, she wants to be an only child. I say all that to say that the following words are from Charlotte's Web and it was Zachary's idea that we all learn the lyrics and sing it to her often.
Enjoy, and 'chin up'.


Chin Up
Chin up, chin upEverybody loves a happy faceWear it, share itIt'll brighten up the darkest placeTwinkle, sparkleLet a little sunshine inYou'll be on the right sideLooking at the bright sideUp with your chinny chin chinChin up, Chin upPut a little laughter in your eyesBrave it, save itEven though you're feeling otherwiseRise up, wise upMake a little smile beginYou'll be happy heartedOnce you get it startedUp with your chinny chin chin!Chin downYou can't come frowningTurn aroundStarting, clowningThink sad, your troubles doubleThink glad, they burst like bubblesChin up, chin upEvery little time your spirits wiltChin up, chin upGive your attitude in upward tiltTwinkle, sparkleMake a little fun beginYou'll be on the right sideLooking at the bright sideUp with your chinny chinChin up!

My Answer to Nosiness and Mean Girls, Building Roads

My Sweet Husband and Youngest Son......Building Roads

Okay, here it is the big news to a nosey question, by a person who didn't really care, just seeking to hurt and cause a stumble.....it almost worked."What exactly is your family doing these days?" I can't mimic the tone or the body posture...of wanting pain or struggle in my answer, to justify the gossip or meanness...

For just a minute I went back to that struggling, sad, can't satisfy the checklist Christian. The season where life was ugly and the people were even uglier and then at that moment I remembered....I am loved with an everlasting love, I don't need the approval of men(or women), how others feel or what they believe about the redemption of our home and family doesn't matter. The lies, the gossip, the pain....washed away by the blood of the Lamb. For just a moment I wanted their approval of my home, my income, my children...I wanted them to know how life had changed, lest I forget, God is my redeemer and I will let HIM stand in the gap....Lord help me remember this.

Everyone ready for the answer

Spending time building roads to the future for our family, educating our children, loving the Lord and serving in a local church.

Wordless Wednesday-Friends

Friends, They Like Me...They Really Like Me, Maybe

I have had a lack of inspiration, but today is the day to write.
I have friends, new friends, old friends, friends I trust, friends that sort of don't trust, but I still call them friends. My sweet Donnie is my best friend. Friends are important. I wrote at one point that I was a relationship person with out many 'girlfriends'. There have been seasons in our life where people were not available or willing or able to be friends in the true since, what with all the chaos and pain of a struggling marriage, special needs kids dealing with behaviour issues or the fact we didn't live inside the correct sort of box with the right border ( I am so glad border is out of style). There were people who didn't feel comfortable with us sharing our hearts or our struggles, that made us too real. The end result was we quit trusting and discovered many other people just like us. I became good at surface relationships and even didn't mind them, mostly.
Just like always, God got a hold of me. He kept bringing me people who endeavored to care about our family whether we wanted it or not. Our children are relationship people and the Lord continued to bring great families to us through them.
Today, I have an inner circle again, people I believe that God has given me and maybe even me to them (that would be a stretch to believe, really).
People who love what they know of us.
It would be a lie if I said that I am absolutely sure that if they 'really' knew me, they would leave, the same way they came. That is for another day.
Today, I am grateful what this circle of people know hasn't run them off yet. I will hold out hope for the future of these friendships, I will guard my heart, but take a step forward.
Today, will move out of my comfort zone and show a weakness. I am not always quick witted and sure of myself. So often I am concerned or even afraid of not being liked, but today, I will believe that at least a few of these people really do 'like me'.
They like me, they really like me. Even Movie stars are surprised with who likes them sometimes.

Marissa in Rawanda, Mission Trips with History Lessons

I just checked out the blog of a sweet, sweet young lady who served as a Youth Intern at our church. She is now serving the Lord in a faraway land. As I read what she had to read I sat stunned at what a difference one of us can make, if we know. Sometimes knowing the injustice or the pain, or the___________fill in the blank is all it takes to get us on our feet.
As I read about the injustices and the death, I wonder what can I do from here. I have some ideas, but it is limited:
Buy things from the communities in pain (ideas on http://www.marissainrwanda.blogspot.com/ )

Teach our children...I was told just yesterday that we can not be innocent and wise, I am moving that around my spirit, but I do believe it to be true, mostly. Teach them them about the pain and loss in communities near you, encourage them to read excellent literature and works by those who have suffered in our nation and those abroad, read biographies and autobiographies about others. Tell them about tough history, painful history, even if it is personal....Holocaust, Rwanda, Darfur, Civil Rights in the US, Apparteit, sadly we have many choices.

Choose to serve outside of our homes, with a plan, put on the calender regularly.

Go places that you think might not be safe and hug a kid or take someone to dinner.

I am sad today, about things happening in the world that I don't know how to help.
Being sad is ok.
Maybe being sad is best and if not we should wonder why.

Answers, Ideas, and Teenagers Knowing It All

I want a new checklist, that doesn't change from child to child or for that matter from day to day. We have some hard and fast rules in our family. We also have some guidelines that we pray continually over, seeking to protect the purity of our children's hearts and integrity and like it or not, those guidelines and what we allow are often dealt with based on the people (besides our children) involved. This is difficult at best, I ask for God's grace, often in successive moments. As a momma of one teenager and 5 up and coming teenagers, I now realize I don't know it all. What I know today is that I want the best for these kids. That my ideas have changed would be an understatement. When we found out that Zachary was going to be, it was the night that Clinton was elected....the first time. I was far more liberal AND at the ripe old age of 19, I had the entire plan for the coming 21 years completely set out. Fifteen years later, during one of the nights of the Democratic National Convention, I am far more conservative and I am trying to plan out tomorrow and how I will answer the questions, the big questions of the big kids, because I don't have all the answers anymore.

Movement, Just Enough Still, in Curtain Forts

My sweet mother, Marner, Rachel, mom....is moving in with us and for those of you that have actually seen my home you are now saying, "huh?", but God is good. I need to say that a lot lately, that is a side note.
I worked for years to get away from my mother, was out of the home on and off through out adolescence and on my on young, pretty independent even younger. Our experiences were those of two people surviving pain together and independently often at the hands of the same people/person. We did....survive, but not without scarring and deep bruises to our spirits. For the last few years God has graciously begun to redeem our relationship, to heal our hearts and to give me a heart of forgiveness and hope. My mom is not well, she has struggled with lung and ear issues for years and while surviving the first 50 years of her life in addition she worked, alone, to provide for me, during a season. Pain doesn't disappear and hurt has not been allowed to be covered with me in the most recent past, I have been forced to deal with it. I am grateful. The dealing with it and continuing to deal with it has put our family in the position, to once again defy the odds of the American Dream and re-shape the family, to how God intends it to be. So here in our small 1500 sq. ft. home, where I have said it is more like camping ....hot and sticky and you never sure what you are going to eat, we have put up curtains and made a room, moved kids around, mopped a floor and started transferring my moms life directly into ours, to make a new ours. DJ proclaimed upon looking at the twins new room "wowee, a biggest tent ever." We have always let the kids enjoy building sheet tents in the house, I guess this will be an extension of the Great Adventure of always Having and Being just enough....with tent/forts in the dining room.
Pictures will come
Just enough space.
Just enough time.
Just enough of me....to get us by.
Always Just Enough of Him.