Maci and Maggie in the morning

Sarah and Maggie

DJ

Sarah and Morgan

martha

DJ

Maci

zach and holly (PROM 2009)

zach and long time childhood friend Bethany

Just shameless day of bragging on a few amazing people I love to pieces.

These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

Pink Pants for the Many Days of All Sort of Tears

I have never worn pink until now, but now I need pink. The pink reminds me that it is okay to walk around in a life I don't understand with days I thought I could never endure, grief that seems heavy and hope that seems somewhat overwhelming. I am wearing more pink.
I wore pink pants and a black shirt, I have dealt with 10 days of headaches, one bypass surgery with my mom, 2 rounds of strep with my twins, two bacterial infections with my 4 middle kids, some weird virus that I thought would kill my husband, a dryer that says,'klunk, da klunk, klunk' every time I put a load in, a broken water heater, a funny smell in the back of the house, becoming closely acquainted with my pest control guy, canceled two trips, had one amazing trip to see my family, break through seizures with my 5 year old, a wreck for my teen an his girl, loss of utilities, a bearded lizard of some sort that I understand ate her mate before she came to my home,one lost phone, one found phone, and an amazing marriage seminar for 5 (of 8) weeks that can only make this all more doable with my best friend and husband.
This is 2 months in the life of the Pike family....I have not loved every minute of it, much of it I have endured, not so patiently. I am grateful for most of it and I have loved a week or two of it, but through out it all I have had a team behind me, my network of sorts. To say this is the life I dreamed of would be a lie, I dreamed far less for my life, with a very different chaos, and much less love. I never dreamed of a life that I would where pink pants and a black shirt and think I looked amazing that Sunday morning.
I cry a lot these days, the days of pink pants. I cry when I am happy....when I watch my son with his sweet girl, I cry when I watch my teen daughter put on mascara, I cry when I watch my younger twin do a report, the doctors swore she would never do, I cry when I watch my 9 year old write stories and sleep peacefully next to our baby, I cry when our baby does kindergarten.....all of these tears have come between the happenings over the past two months, bright spots like my pink pants on a rainy Sunday morning.
I cry grief tears, when I see all the same children doing the same amazing things, about time lost in my life, memories never made, and pain that I never understood. But the days of the pink pants are not like the teary eyed days of years past, these are not days of depression or decomposition. These are the days of moving through finding relief, embracing health, coming to terms of agreement, redefining and acceptance of who I am and where I come from, days of figuring out where I come from. These are the days of the pink pants, new relationship with the same husband, different relationship with the growing kids, an understanding relationship with myself and figuring out how to puzzle it all together. These are the days of the pink pants.





These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

The Shoulders, The Shoulded, and Not to be Shoulded On

I decided to believe God for a family that was whole and loving. I decided that I would believe God for a marriage that would last and have deep meaning and health. I decided to fight the demons that haunt me from a life most can not fathom. I decide to hope for a future for kids that some believed we should never have. I decided to trust that the Word was True and not just a good idea. I decided that just because you say so isn't enough of a reason for me to quit, give up or decide your way is better. I decided that no one could or would pre-determine how I educated, fed, loved or continued having our children. I decided to trust myself and not the ones that had continued to be untrustworthy. My story is one of often difficult even painful decisions that have to be worth it or I wouldn't be able to breath. I am grateful, because my story has changed the very landscape of a family. God is good in my story and the "shoulders" are wrong. We were messed up and that was true, but God wasn't finished with my Story and having a back seat to healing as they 'shoulded' on me was not the place to be. There were a few who took front row seats and saw the pain and the hurt and dirty awful mess that this family was, up close and personal, but ohhhhhh, the Glory of God and the Joy witnessed as the healing has taken place and continues to take place, makes having the messy seats in our lives all the more worth it.
I know that some are reading my story and knowing they are a 'shoulder', I am not writing for you, I am writing the ones who dare to do what they are called to in the face of great pain and adversity, with peace.


I wondered as lay in my bed on September 1st, where I would be if I had listened to those who thought I shouldn't. Thought I shouldn't work on this marriage, thought I shouldn't stay in this family, thought I shouldn't have any more babies, and definitely thought I shouldn't be home educating.
The people who thought I shouldn't were many in number and they were the ones who should have been my greatest cheerleaders, on my side, but they all had opinions about what they thought I shouldn't be doing. I quit on them before they could quit on me. The thoughts were really more than that, they took action, made calls, wrote notes and even sought out 'the advice of authorities' to try and convince me other wise. None of them came and offered to wash dishes, hold the babies, or ask the how can we help questions. The dirty work was left to others, the 'unlikelys', and the unlikelys quickly had their sanity attacked as well....they didn't care if people 'shoulded' on them.
I find myself wondering if I hadn't done all the things I shouldn't have done where would I be and who would I not have in my life.
The most prominent thought on September 1st was that I wouldn't have my daughter who was turning 9 that morning. I definitely wouldn't have the 5 year old that I was scolded for conceiving. These well rounded, well educated teenagers who have become young people of integrity, seeking out the lost, and loving the unlovable, I wonder who they would be if I hadn't persisted and fought the 'should nots' and the authorities who were standing at my door.
The amazing 11 year olds who walk our cove loving neighbors who others had forgotten about, what if they had been taken as the should nots wanted them to be and properly educated by people less shakey in their lives. Oh, and the 9 and 5 year olds wouldn't even be, because we would not have conceived them, never mind had the audacity to bring them into this world with love and adoration, I wouldn't have dared.
I dared, I double dog dared, to go against the ones who thought we shouldn't. I fought with both fist up all the powers that be with prayer, and resources and with the help of only a few, and here we are.
I dare you to go against the 'shoulders' in your life who say what you should and shouldn't do, know that you know, that you know, that the good gifts He has given you are indeed good and fight for them, the marriage, the children, the faith, the hope, the belief that your dreams can come true.
This is my story today as I watch the 'shouldn't have beens' playing, and loving, and learning, and hoping for a future I am sure so many will say they shouldn't have. Don't believe it.

These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, 'happies'at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

Work, Work, Work....Home Repair At It's Best

It has been quite some time since I last wrote anything for this blog. It isn't that I have no thoughts or that my mind isn't constantly moving about the ideas I ponder, I am just plain busy.
Busy is good sometimes. Taking care of our home is a little bit like painting the Golden Gate, when you finish the last screw, it is time to begin again. Recently, I went back in mind to a time 8 years ago when I was consumed with the idea of painting the trim in our hallway and bedroom. It seemed dank and dark, needing some fresh sparkle. We were still without the current addition and the space was even tighter than it is now with five small children, my husband, myself and a dog in a two bedroom space. I couldn't however muster the energy to actually do the painting on the tiny hallway. It seemed that if I started, whenever I started I could only see all the rest of the work and jobs and needs around our home that needed to be done and so I didn't start because I felt I would never finish. We would never finish, in fact we still haven't finished. Our home has been a work in progress since we moved into it some 15 years ago, with just one little boy, who will be 16 next Friday. We are still needing to paint door ways that were made from window sill some 9 years ago (and needing to thank the Lord for those door ways in spite of them needing paint), we need to install some window thingys around the sills of the windows that are part of the addition ( and thank the Lord for the windows that keep us protected from the outside), and we need to carpet most of the house and what doesn't need to be carpeted needs to be re-finished (needing to praise God for all 18 feet, that run and walk across these floors everyday). We just finished painting the kitchen and the rain started falling on the freshly painted cabinet fronts this morning which reminded me I need to be thankful for the freshness of a summer rain, like God's out pouring on my life during some very dry seasons. The laundry is never done, the dishes always need some washing, the kitchen can always stand to be mopped again, the kids sheets need changed as soon as the last set is put on freshly for the week and the dusting just doesn't stop. Even this very moment I am sure that the same hallway I was unwilling to start (that finally a friend came and helped with) needs a good painting this season or maybe the next. I am not afraid to start anymore because I will see the work around me that needs to done. My life is much like our home, always in need of a fresh coat of sweetness on some corner that has been bumped often, or some cobwebs needing to be swept out of some hidden spot I am not willing to look at yet. It is a never ending project, and inevitably when I notice a new place to be touched up my attention will be turned to the cracks and crevices around me and instead of despairing, I believe I will try to find some joy. Joy that it isn't my work, but the Hand of God who will get it all done, if I have a willing heart. After all, in the direction manual of heart repair it says this -
".....being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
This scripture is so important to me because it shows me that even God doesn't do one quick fix and move on expecting that we will never need a touch again, that he will continue until completion WHEN the day of Jesus Christ has arrived. I am so excited to know that I am not a finished project right this moment and that like my home there will be a work done in me on a regular basis, a daily basis, an every moment basis, if I will only make myself available to His hand. God will work in me or through me one way or the other, but oh to do it willingly is some exciting stuff and today, I am grateful to be a home in need of some touch up work.
That is my story today.

These are my original thoughts, feel free to share only in their entirety with a direct link to the original posting at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com
Some are funny, some are sad, but they are all completely mine and it is important not to steal them from me....please be honest doing the right thing.

Humility

Humility is an interesting concept, one I might add, I am not very good at.
When I look at the kids I have pride in what I have done. When I admire my home I acknowledge what we have made of our little space. But today, I am humbled. I woke in the wee hours with tears and a heavy heart, but not one of pain or sadness....I was overwhelmed by the hand of God in my life. I have these 6 amazing children and a husband that loves me more and more and I simply can't fathom all that God has done for me. We have an amazing Restored marriage.....a Miracle, A Hope only imagined that so many spoke against and discouraged me to hope for, God did it. These children have brought me to my knees over and over. Everyone prays for a healthy baby, so did we. Healthy babies weren't always in the plan for us, but we have amazing babies who are becoming more and more healthy everyday, being the best God created them to be, God did it. I am humbled when I see the walk and play and swim and text and pray and, and, and....I am amazed. Today I am humbled that really in spite of myself, God has kept us close during every storm. Today I am humbled that I have six children sleeping in various place in this house soundly with reasonable health and great hope for the future. Today I am humbled that around dark tonight Donnie will walk in and eat dinner with me at the table he bought his momma over 20 years ago. Today I am humbled that our kids will have friends over who choose to spend time with us, not because of our house or our stuff, but because of us. I understand not feeling worthy. Today I am humbled that because of Him I will be found Worthy of Him.
Today my story humbles me.

This Is The Way We Get It Done with a Discount

Here in our family we have
One Village Toymaker employee, Zachary,
One regular babysitter with reasonable rates-Sarah Kay,
Two Mother's Helpers-Martha and Maci (they also moonlight as great organizers of closets drawers, kitchens and bathrooms),
One great Dog Walker-Maggie
And Daddy the great who does Home Remodel and Repair.
I share this because with the exception of Zachary there will be discounts abounding for the kids services (who are earning money for camp and retreats).......
Drum Roll Please
For Donnie and our Home Remodel and Repair Service, because here in the great city of Memphis there has been so much storm damage we want to Pay It Forward by sending a discount your way.
Donnie and I thought it would be a great time to offer a friendly neighborhood discount in light of all the storm damage. We are a homeschool, family run business working at the highest level of integrity and quality. We won't stop until you are pleased. It is also a great time to get your home ready for all the summer fun and guest. If you need roof repairs, window repairs, interior or exterior painting we would be blessed to come and offer you our services with integrity and excellent work. We are also busy scheduling new decks and great playhouses to spend the summer on and in.
Pike Family Economic Stimulus Package
Until July 31 we are offering a 10% discount on all jobs under $500, 15% for jobs $501-$1000 and 20% for all jobs over $1000 dollars. Materials are not included in this discount The work that is scheduled does NOT have to be storm related. It is our desire to serve our friends and family with not only a value but quality work. We come with excellent references and your satisfaction is what we count on to put food on the table--


We hope that in the coming weeks and months you will think of our family when thinking about home repair and spread the word. If you have a business you would like us to make referrals for feel free to let me know.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

The Knot In My Throat and Other Things I Am More Aware Of

I walked out of painful chaos and into legalism of the religious sort, following that up with more questions than answers about life, lies, hopes, and heroes. I found answers to questions I didn't think to ask and asked questions I didn't dare to mutter before. While in the middle of all of these moments I saw that I had become an adult with no great definition of self, but knowing all the while that I would pass up religion for relationship and would pass up relationship with others to protect my heart and to find boundaries in my heart that hadn't previously existed. I found relationship in a community of believers that I never expected and when asked boldly "How, Why, and Where?" I can only answer, "Because Jesus is there and there is where I have been found again." The knot in my throat, the tears always on the edge are tears of grief. The knot is all I had hoped for what could have been when I started this journey at a place not so far away with people that I believed would run the race along side, people that ended up running a different leg of the race than us. I have heard these old voices, listened to the memories, and followed my heart to know....the pain that was left by the loss is still there. It is okay that today I don't know exactly who I am or where I am headed. I have relationship, with my Lord and with myself.....all the rest is a bonus. I want to know more, to see more, to share more but today I will just be more, quietly.


These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.