Sunday, December 20, 2009

Wondering,Wandering,Finding and Never Forgetting

So I wonder.....
I wonder about so many things throughout the day I am quite sure that it makes my family dizzy, especially my husband-
I wonder about the Apostolic Creed.
I wonder about what is for dinner tonight.
I wonder about the little boys that live two doors down.
I wonder about marriage and how it works itself out.
I wonder about communion and what it means, what is should mean.
I wonder why I should on myself.
I wonder about the great grief no one speaks of.
I wonder if the turkey broth will make good chicken soup.
I wonder how God spoke to Miss Helen and the Fowlers.
I wonder what happened in heaven when our marriage was redeemed.
I wonder what happened in heaven when I lost those babies.
I wonder what happened in heaven when the babies I had woke up this morning.
I wonder about atomic mass and the science of energy and how we think.
I wonder about the doctor who opened my tiny daughter up and fixed her heart.
I wonder if I will make cookies today.
I wonder if I am doing the right thing with my faith.
I wonder if some pain ever leaves.
I wonder if a certain peace is never meant to be experienced by some
I wonder if anyone gets some of the peace I know.
I wonder if any of my answers matter.
I have answers to some of these things I wonder about, but the answers change....often, and sometimes only slightly.
My heart has been broken over and over again by the Lord as I am understanding how much I really don't know and my heart has been mended over and over again by the Lord as I work through the brokenness caused by mere people who didn't know how to love me well.
Often my wondering brings me peace and understanding, sometimes my wondering brings me tears, because some things hurt. I don't believe that I will ever know the whys of some pains, because the only real why is we live in a fallen world with fallen people.
The peace I get when I understand something isn't so much the understanding, it is I believe,when I can see the Face of the Father and the Hand of God in any given experience be it Good or Bad and Know that He was present, ever present....He never left me.
My wondering has drawn me to more questions than answers, but I am grateful to wonder and sometime wander, and find that He is always there in the answers I get.
What do you wonder about?
What answers are you wandering from?
It is important to ask questions, to wonder, to regularly experience not having all the answers and being so delighted when you get an idea....and see He is there in it all.
These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.