At 11pm Friday night, I found myself serving up pancakes to 8 amazing teenagers, 3 pre-teens, and one darling 3rd grader, while my husband and youngest son slept soundly. It was a good night. I found myself squarely in the spot of being "that mom", while hot rolling Sarah's hair, ironing Zach's shirt, shooing younger siblings and making last minute phone calls for corsages and meeting times. I was 'that mom' standing in front of my neighbors flowers taking pictures and having my throat tighten when all the dates arrived for more pictures. I love being that mom. Much of my Friday was exhausting, we went to the zoo, we stopped by the florist, picked up last minute groceries, made multiple phone calls all while reminding myself not to smile to broadly or let the kids see me cry. This is one of the many moments I imagined over the early years of raising so many little kids. Dance night with our children, First dates, Algebra 1, Baptism, College Plans, Middle School, Camp, are all events that I dreamed of and didn't and don't want to mess up. What I am learning every step of the way though is that these big moments in the big boxes are all made possible by so many little moments with small ribbons, tears, prayers, fasting, hope, hurt, healing, sleepy moments. Talks about what Jesus did on the cross, the length of a dress, the color of their hair, ear rings for the boys or not, babysitting jobs, television choices, music choices, van seat and dinner seat choices, big chore day and put your close away right now afternoons, all make up the moments and the really important times where I have found myself hugging my kids, being the momma of teenagers, pre-teens and a kindergartner all at the same time, tired and crying, sometimes fussing and occasionally cussing....but so grateful to be 'that mom with all the kids'. Tomorrow is Monday and it is boring, Algebra1, Pre-Calc, 3rd and 5th grade math followed by easy addition and phonics. I will wrap it up with ballet and Love on the Table, but Mondays full of all the small moments wrapped in tiny boxes with so many choices will take me to my next big event....Mission trips to Belize, twins in Middle School, Sarah in High School, DJ hanging with big kids, Maggie and her achievement test, graduation, college, weddings and babies. I will handle the small moments with more care and honor the choices with love. On this day my story is bittersweet of holding on and letting go, knowing all the while that the richness of my life is proof that we don't have the answers to know the outcome will be peace that passes all understanding. The proof is in the small moments in the little boxes wrapped with care.
These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.