I Will Believe the Truth Not the Lie, It Really is Close to Perfect

I have had shaking down of my spirit in the last few days, this happens every so often and at the end I am as tired as if I ran a marathon (I think, I will never run a marathon). In my life it has become important to recognize when I am not expected to do something, when it is okay to just walk away, even if I was wrong. I have been wrong and I have been wronged, I have sought forgiveness where I could and been straightforward with myself and my Lord and I will protect the very spirit with in me. So many times it isn't people but that fear and insecurity deep within us that we fight and argue and wrestle with. For today I will not wrestle, I will rest. I will rest in some truths.....
I am not who I was,
My husband loves me more than ever,
Our children are a blessing,
Our home is a gift,
My mom is a pleasant surprise to my days,
I really do have a dang near perfect family (and I don't have to feel guilty about that),
I will see my grandparents in 24 hours and this evening my aunts and cousins will wrap their arms around me and say "welcome home".
My pain is not unbearable and I am loved by the great I AM.
As I type those truths the voices in my head and the voices on the phone and the voices on the tv and the voices from my past and the voices from my present..and, and, and.... melt away.
These are my truths, my truths of today and yesterday is no more, I don't need to explain or live in it, I have forgiven and been forgiven, but I do not have to say yes to the pain runnning over me again in a reminder of all the ways I have failed and done wrong.
Today I am doing right....
Loving the man of my dreams,
Feeding truth and rice with sugar to the children God has given me,
Seeking peace with my mother,
Seeing God out of that Rubbermaid Box I had Him in (you know the clear kind you can see through, but the top pinches your hands when you try to pry it open),
Believing the truths not the lies about myself.

I feel the tears in my throat and at the same time my strong spirit rise up in me and say "On this day I will be okay."
I will not wrestle with lies, I will rest in truth.