Monday, May 19, 2008

Old and New

I have friends, old friends. The friends aren't old, that would make me old, they are friends I have had for a long time, a life time. I saw one of the two friends I have had for most of my life this weekend...I was crazy happy. Crazy is relative in our home, remember? My friend, called and said she was coming in town and would stop by later, but would call first. She didn't call first. She marched right in and said she didn't call first because she knew I would do things to get ready. She is an old friend that knows me well. It is important and uneasy for me to have a friend that has seen it all and knows at least the sketchy details about every part of my life. It makes me vulnerable, she doesn't just read the stories, she was part of many of the stories or had a front row seat for some of the stories. During the hardest years of my life she was just a kid, like me, unaware. As adults she has come to know more. She has been their in my sadness, confusion, and grief. She has painted my walls, held my babies, and we were in each other's weddings. She is more my sister. A new thing I heard, that she said, my old friend gave me a new thought. She said she thought I was brave. She said tht out loud to one of the kids. I don't know if I ever knew that. Since the cradle she has known me and I didn't know she thought I was brave. I like that, I am honored. Brave isn't a word I would use to describe myself, maybe I do things that seem to require bravery, that is because I often don't think first of the risk...I just live, with all my heart. Maybe that is crazy not brave. I like Brave. She reminded me the last time that she was with me. My friend didn't say"you were really loosing it", she instead said "you were distraught," it was at daddy's funeral. When I was really loosing it a few years ago, she listened, maybe with question, but she never let me know. She brought our family cookies many years ago, some crispy and some soft, she is thoughtful like that. I named one of our daughters after her, I would be proud if she becomes a woman just like my friend. I looked at her daughter, I felt that I should look in the mirror and see myself 5 again, I was looking at my former playmate. Some of the places we spent time are torn down, others are unsafe. My friend still safe, always safe, just the way friends should be.
Find an old friend. Catch up, enjoy, they may need it, or maybe just enjoy it. Be encouraged.

1 comment:

J-Mom said...

Love your blog. Really love the one on friends. Thank goodness for good friends that help us through life!