I have had shaking down of my spirit in the last few days, this happens every so often and at the end I am as tired as if I ran a marathon (I think, I will never run a marathon). In my life it has become important to recognize when I am not expected to do something, when it is okay to just walk away, even if I was wrong. I have been wrong and I have been wronged, I have sought forgiveness where I could and been straightforward with myself and my Lord and I will protect the very spirit with in me. So many times it isn't people but that fear and insecurity deep within us that we fight and argue and wrestle with. For today I will not wrestle, I will rest. I will rest in some truths.....
I am not who I was,
My husband loves me more than ever,
Our children are a blessing,
Our home is a gift,
My mom is a pleasant surprise to my days,
I really do have a dang near perfect family (and I don't have to feel guilty about that),
I will see my grandparents in 24 hours and this evening my aunts and cousins will wrap their arms around me and say "welcome home".
My pain is not unbearable and I am loved by the great I AM.
As I type those truths the voices in my head and the voices on the phone and the voices on the tv and the voices from my past and the voices from my present..and, and, and.... melt away.
These are my truths, my truths of today and yesterday is no more, I don't need to explain or live in it, I have forgiven and been forgiven, but I do not have to say yes to the pain runnning over me again in a reminder of all the ways I have failed and done wrong.
Today I am doing right....
Loving the man of my dreams,
Feeding truth and rice with sugar to the children God has given me,
Seeking peace with my mother,
Seeing God out of that Rubbermaid Box I had Him in (you know the clear kind you can see through, but the top pinches your hands when you try to pry it open),
Believing the truths not the lies about myself.
I feel the tears in my throat and at the same time my strong spirit rise up in me and say "On this day I will be okay."
I will not wrestle with lies, I will rest in truth.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Stories of Hospitality -Straight from Candy Season, Into I Bought So Many Groceries Season, Sliding Into How Will I Afford This Season
I will repost this....it is important to me. We have had our annual Thanksgiving with the Pikes (minus a few), we have traveled towards hope and comfort in Chicagoland and now we are putting up our tree.....but this is my heart even this year. I decided to share it again
It has been quite sometime since I posted a recipe....
Today I will share how to prepare for fun and Chaos in the Pike house.
This Sunday we will host 28 people including 15 children in our home, our relatively small, but blessed home....there will be tables in bedrooms, the living room and the school room. There will be fun in every room.
There are multiple steps in our recipe for fun....
First we started last night -FRIDAY
2 pans of cornbread dressing
1 pan of corn casserole
8lbs of sausage balls
Kix 106 (our local country music station)
Dancing with Husband in the kitchen
Sing with the kid
Chop Celery
Chop Onion
Boil Chicken Livers
Budweiser and few laughs that we are going to pull this off
Toss the worry about what the sisters-in-laws think, this isn't for them right....it is for the kids, they don't care what sort of house we play and pray in.
Second-Sleep in till 10am Saturday, let the kids play, wash Laundry with lots of Fabric Softener it makes the house smell yummy.
French Toast
Day old French Bread
Nutmeg
Cinnamon
Pumpkin Pie Spice Coffee (to drink while cooking)-I just add the spice to my filter while brewing
My favorite Pampered Chef Skillet
1/2 dozen egg
6 Hungry kids and one grateful grandmother
Sunday-We are prepared and I will pray......
Memories for my children in our home as a family are more important than I think most know.
You only know how important that is if you haven't had it and so I will sacrifice my pride, have my children's heart filled with recipes of love, joy, and laughter and fill this home with people to the brim, so that each of them will remember that momma put her time where her mouth is.
We are called to love one another, to be hospitable, I think Jesus must have been fun and I just know he would have loved this kind of fun and chaos with all the kids and one momma who will commit to not worrying just for one day what others think and loving, living, laughing and maybe even a little dancing.
Enjoy the recipe....
Take a stretch out of your comfort zone and have some fun, for the family's sake.
It has been quite sometime since I posted a recipe....
Today I will share how to prepare for fun and Chaos in the Pike house.
This Sunday we will host 28 people including 15 children in our home, our relatively small, but blessed home....there will be tables in bedrooms, the living room and the school room. There will be fun in every room.
There are multiple steps in our recipe for fun....
First we started last night -FRIDAY
2 pans of cornbread dressing
1 pan of corn casserole
8lbs of sausage balls
Kix 106 (our local country music station)
Dancing with Husband in the kitchen
Sing with the kid
Chop Celery
Chop Onion
Boil Chicken Livers
Budweiser and few laughs that we are going to pull this off
Toss the worry about what the sisters-in-laws think, this isn't for them right....it is for the kids, they don't care what sort of house we play and pray in.
Second-Sleep in till 10am Saturday, let the kids play, wash Laundry with lots of Fabric Softener it makes the house smell yummy.
French Toast
Day old French Bread
Nutmeg
Cinnamon
Pumpkin Pie Spice Coffee (to drink while cooking)-I just add the spice to my filter while brewing
My favorite Pampered Chef Skillet
1/2 dozen egg
6 Hungry kids and one grateful grandmother
Sunday-We are prepared and I will pray......
Memories for my children in our home as a family are more important than I think most know.
You only know how important that is if you haven't had it and so I will sacrifice my pride, have my children's heart filled with recipes of love, joy, and laughter and fill this home with people to the brim, so that each of them will remember that momma put her time where her mouth is.
We are called to love one another, to be hospitable, I think Jesus must have been fun and I just know he would have loved this kind of fun and chaos with all the kids and one momma who will commit to not worrying just for one day what others think and loving, living, laughing and maybe even a little dancing.
Enjoy the recipe....
Take a stretch out of your comfort zone and have some fun, for the family's sake.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
My Education of Henry Adams, America and My Very On Shack
I have been quite the reader. Reading is what has kept me sane for season of my life. We are currently reading through The Shack again, with the children and I have just begun The Education of Henry Adams by Henry Adams . I will maintain a level of integrity here with my readers by letting you all know that I am just barely through the Introduction of 'Henry Adams'.
I have asked myself of the children "Can we begin a legacy of excellence in government, society, and power at this time and place in history?" a big question that I have explored before. I am not even sure if it is important or something to be aspired to, but my question, none the less. The future is after all in their hands, the children we are raising to be adults....The Future is In Their Hands. Quite Frankly, this is daunting.
In the Education of Henry Adams or at least the intro., I am reacquainted with an age old pattern, a history greatness. That is the story of Henry Adams, his family was a founding family with many important figure heads of history, but he considered himself a failure in many ways and even asked that his book not be published until after death, his death.
Adams was more a writer of History rather than a History Maker.
What will our children be and how will they find that and can they find that in relationship....big picture Relationship?
Relationships are the root of my life, painful though that mostly is, it is what it is. Reading this after The Shack, all about relationship and seeing Adams' relationship to history, but merely relating history not making it, I am left with another question.
What is our relationship to our children's ability to make history, either because of our relationship or in spite of our relationships with them?
Recently we have seen a man elected to be our very next History Maker, our President of this United States of America. There is much to be said of his relationships, their is one that is strikingly obvious to me. His lack of relationship with positional power in government, society or money as a child...at least none that is glaringly obvious from my tiny bit of research. The relationships we do know about as an adult have certainly formed him and we have heard much of this and they will quite possibly be history makers and tellers, as well. But....which is better.....
A place in history where you can become an incredible somebody, history maker, President of the United States , even if you come from a family of no one important, no known variables?
(this sounds appealing to me, it is where my children are coming from)
or a place in History where Children who become adults who become a Somebody, are taught, trained, groomed if you will to do the job by previous History Makers not History Watchers.
My children wouldn't qualify, but maybe I would be more comfortable....in relationship to my on needs and desires.
I am not making a political statement, I am not talking about the vote, I am asking a question that I am uncomfortable with.
Would I rather have the opportunity of newness or the security of understood points?
Are these either/or questions and are they static answers?
I don't know.
I will keep reading, maybe I am raising a History Maker(s), if so will I be pleased?
I have asked myself of the children "Can we begin a legacy of excellence in government, society, and power at this time and place in history?" a big question that I have explored before. I am not even sure if it is important or something to be aspired to, but my question, none the less. The future is after all in their hands, the children we are raising to be adults....The Future is In Their Hands. Quite Frankly, this is daunting.
In the Education of Henry Adams or at least the intro., I am reacquainted with an age old pattern, a history greatness. That is the story of Henry Adams, his family was a founding family with many important figure heads of history, but he considered himself a failure in many ways and even asked that his book not be published until after death, his death.
Adams was more a writer of History rather than a History Maker.
What will our children be and how will they find that and can they find that in relationship....big picture Relationship?
Relationships are the root of my life, painful though that mostly is, it is what it is. Reading this after The Shack, all about relationship and seeing Adams' relationship to history, but merely relating history not making it, I am left with another question.
What is our relationship to our children's ability to make history, either because of our relationship or in spite of our relationships with them?
Recently we have seen a man elected to be our very next History Maker, our President of this United States of America. There is much to be said of his relationships, their is one that is strikingly obvious to me. His lack of relationship with positional power in government, society or money as a child...at least none that is glaringly obvious from my tiny bit of research. The relationships we do know about as an adult have certainly formed him and we have heard much of this and they will quite possibly be history makers and tellers, as well. But....which is better.....
A place in history where you can become an incredible somebody, history maker, President of the United States , even if you come from a family of no one important, no known variables?
(this sounds appealing to me, it is where my children are coming from)
or a place in History where Children who become adults who become a Somebody, are taught, trained, groomed if you will to do the job by previous History Makers not History Watchers.
My children wouldn't qualify, but maybe I would be more comfortable....in relationship to my on needs and desires.
I am not making a political statement, I am not talking about the vote, I am asking a question that I am uncomfortable with.
Would I rather have the opportunity of newness or the security of understood points?
Are these either/or questions and are they static answers?
I don't know.
I will keep reading, maybe I am raising a History Maker(s), if so will I be pleased?
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