Friday, June 27, 2008

Password

I remember tons of passwords, user names, account information, last log in, where the dirty socks got hidden, why is there a banana under the edge of that furniture, what will I do about the blender, what happen when I was 12....I remember a lot good and bad and some just mundane. I wonder sometimes how I remember it all, I often get overwhelmed with all that circles in my head in a day. Like today, I have to remember to go and pick up 4 of my kids in one place and the other two at another place...for 14 short hours I will have had time with just Donnie and now just all by myself. I don't remember how to do this, in fact I don't think I like it. I am the only one in the house I feel like crying, but I won't. My life has drastically changed in the last few years, weeks, DAYS. My lifestyle has been turned upside down, mostly for the better, but I am not sure of the Passwords for this new stuff. It doesn't come quick and easy like logging on to my email. I am unsure of my footing. Yesterday I was looking around, seeing people all around me, a few who even knew how my life would change this morning, weirdly, and just don't get it. I don't get it. I will find my routine, I will figure it out, we will all thrive and continue in gratitude for this change, probably more once we adjust. I think that God sometimes mixes things up a little for me. I have a tendency to get complacent, even lazy, I pray and read the bible, ask for a new day and He in all his wisdom, gives me this day. I experienced days much like this one a few years ago, the spirit of those days weren't joyful, or with gratitude, at least not initially. This day, season, came with a different set of circumstances and reasons. But learning something new always seems hard. I hate change. Change is inevitable in our lives. Even this, good change, hopeful change, feels too familiar and too different all at once. I feel like humming....
Seasons...turn, turn, turn....
Change is okay today, even if I do hate it.
What can you embrace that you don't enjoy today?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Change is good even if it's hard to accept. Embrace it. Learn from it. Pray about it. God never gives you more than you can handle.