A New Idea....Grace not Legalism

A very important part to our home education journey is the way we correct children and ourselves in this walk. I am a work in progress and when I started the parenting journey, I didn't have good sign post. I have always adored our children and have sought to give them a base in the Lord Jesus Christ, but I was angry. It seems like for years, I was angry, frustrated and feeling often like a failure. I accepted teaching that told me if I followed a certain *checklist* then we wouldn't have conflict, our children would be just want to obey, naturally, and that if this didn't happen.....you guessed it....us parents were doing something wrong. The result of this was someone had to be to blame, myself, my husband or our children. I was offered the advice that if I didn't do it 'this way', I would have unruley, hellions, that could never serve God fitly. Discipline was just part of the list every part of our lives was touched by the theology. Often I would blame Donnie, after all if would just read the dog gone books himself he would understand. Next I blamed myself, "I am a bad ungodly mother," I would say to myself. Finally, I would become increasingly loud, and unkind with our children, I was tired and discontented. Occasionally, I would get a glimpse of grace and would try to change, but I had been entrenched in the teachings. I had become legalistic. I was working my way to heaven, through my kitchen, my schedule, my discipline style....but I was mean.
Thank goodness for God's grace. I lost everything, I came to the bottom of myself and God was there waiting with a sweet face to gaze into and I saw hope. It has been a few years and I am re-learning. I am climbing out of the pit of legalism, we are becoming a new family. Now, I have a teenager and some up and coming teenagers in addition to my pre-schooler. It is hard, the undoing of pain, is hard work. Bitterness set in at some point and healing is having to happen. I cry out loud and out to God often, "help me, fix this!". He will, He is, He wants to. Kind words are healing to the bones, that is what the Proverbs say, I am believing it.
Healing to the bones, like salve to the heart. God is able, I am not, but God is. If you are stuck in pain and battle with your children, stop, look and listen, God may want to move you, release you, change you....it just may not be about the children.