Late yesterday afternoon, my momma, AKA Marner, was loading my two littles into the car for some special time at her house. The wind was whipping, the trees were scary (we have a long history of tree damage), and the lights went out. I ran the kids in the house explained to them we only had a bit of daylight, to straighten floors and flat surfaces, get the dishes done.....I would not be in the cold dark with a mess. My kids rose to the occasion it was almost a challenge. Daddy arrived with candles and a lighter.....after a few heated rounds of Bannanagrams we were off to the neighborhood Chinese buffet and to pick up the two little ones. For just a moment I thought we should stay the night at my mothers apartment, after all it is cold and our house wasn't getting heat at the moment. I decided against it, I love my mother, we don't share small spaces well and the children were already edging on my sensibilities.....off we trekked to our cold dark home. Friends, I witnessed cooperation, yes you heard me right cooperation among my 6 children. We donned candles and a flashlight, gathered blankets and pillows and set everyone up in the living room. There were great plans of reading their books, but alas, there was chatting and yes fussing and giggling for the next hour. Shortly after 9 Donnie announce "lights out", which takes on a whole new meaning when there is no electricity. We confiscated the flashlight, blew out the candles and we all slept.....well. Did I say well. We slept well, no bed time fight, no trips to the bathroom, no starving to death right now I am going to die, no yelling "please, just stay in bed" every one went to sleep. I have a plan.....Operation Lights Out.....I thought we would hit the breaker every night for a few nights, but Donnie says that waits till March it is too dern cold, but tonight after church we will have quiet.....lights out, tvs off, radios off, books away,washer off....we will sleep. Am I up to the challenge? How will it go with the ability to turn it on.....I don't know but we shall see. No one hold there breath, but I am excited.
Tell me some of your ideas for sleep and quiet....please.
Gosh, I love sleep and quiet.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
I Cried At HighSchool Musical
Maggie was the sweetest, most surprised kid in the building.....and the musical was fun, too. We were blessed to receive two great tickets to see High School Musical Live here at the Orpheum Theatre downtown. When I first recieved them I wondered how I would choose and almost said no to the tickets, so I wouldn't have to choose. Alas, Maggie Moo Who really needed a day, some bragging rights, a moment all her on, so she was the big choice, but she didn't even know it.
I didn't tell Buggie where we were going, only that 'yes we will have a chance to eat, as well'.
First we went to Blues City Cafe (one of this mommas favorite places ever to eat catfish), she finished up a bowl of ice cream and we left to go see the show. Bugs still had no idea. We walked in and wam, she saw everything, the lights and such and it barely registered. I finally whispered "yes honey, High School Musical Live" and her face said it all....wow.
After some pictures and giggles and a 20 dollar program, we were off to find our seats. When the lights went down and the stage lit up, then, I cried at High School Musical. I took one look at her happy little face, I realized that I made the right choice about how to use the 2 gifted tickets and I cried tears of, wow. There was that little girl in amazement, I could barely see her face in the lights, but she was wowed. I was so happy to see her happy.....let me say that differently, I was in a moment of time, that I knew she would remember, not so much what the musical was, but that Momma chose her that day. We do this with each of our children at different times with all kinds of events and activities, but this moment with her was a big one. Her first really big girl thing, a day with momma, for a WOW.
Steal away moments, make them important, it doesn't have to be a stage show ( I am going bowling tonight with my Sweet Sarah Kay), and watch them. Connect, really with them, and you may find.....you cry when you look at the world and that moment with us as parents through their eyes. So yes, I cried at High School Musical Live at the Orpheum in Memphis.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
I am a relationship person....I hate that sometimes. I need people. There was a season in my life, a very long season, where the Lord moved everyone, but my children out of my life. It was me and 6 kids. That was a difficult rainy season, but I needed the rain and I grew. Ever heard the old saying that you need fertilizer (pooooo) to grow a garden, well I believe that is often what relationships are in our lives. For those of you in relationship with me don't be offended, I don't think your pooo, but I know that the more I know about my family relationships the more I grow as a person. I am at an in between place in my life. I am in between with children (one in every department of church and age of homeschool pre-school to youth group), in between newlywed and married forever (alomost 15 years, can you believe how faithful God is to change us to not just survive,but thrive), in between pants sizes most of the time (my least favorite in between right now....I have been bigger, but ack I want to be smaller) and in between complexion style (isn't acne a teenager problem). Because of all my in betweens I don't fit, anywhere. There is this one group of women (high Fray-Mill) who really know me, but I only see them once every few months or so. Which brings me to my next point, I am a talker.....if you know me for 5 minutes you know that I talk. I like to talk about what the kids are doing (mine or yours), talk about school (again mine or yours), one of my favorite subjects is my family in Chicago land,it makes me smile, and cry (because I miss them daily) they are where I fit....all the way without smushing or bending the edges, I just fit and when I don't they make room and love me into place. With my kids I fit, they know I am going to yell like a crazy person, say some mean things, make them clean, then fill their little bellys. Family here, no fit, like a shoe that is too loose, it feels ok for a bit, then it rubs blisters, small blisters that you don't notice for a bit, but a blister none the less. I love them, and they seem to think I am tolerable, but I believe that I rub blisters on them as well, so I do short sprints (for my momma) and go home and nap. This is how I deal with family (or rather how they deal with me). Maybe tomorrow I will deal with friends or the lack there of. It seems I have relationship fertilizer on the family side, but I am longing for friends with out fertilizer (is that even possible?) Feed back please......
Friday, January 18, 2008
oh mommmmaaaaa.....noooo
Just when my sweet Princess Maggie thought that her sweet little life with this family couldn't get anymore unbearable, my sweet friend (thanks Mrs. Elizabeth) loaned me her wonderful tu tu. It was mom and daughter day at Ms. Carrie's ballet class, it had been a long week (it was only tuesday), I was on my second Starbucks, makeup had not met my face in 2 days and this wonderful opportunity to show my Maggie how much I love her presented itself.
I believe that it is not the single moments in life that our children remember, it is entire seasons and many moments of fun (or not so fun) grouped together that give our children their lasting memories. The ones that will get them through an achievement test, their ACTs, their first day on a new college campus and the long nights with their very first new baby a few years down the road. I want my children to smile when they reach to the past and find something......for that reason, I wore a multi-colored tu tu, in my old church T-Shirt, with NO makeup, all my lumps and bumps showing and smiled, because as horrified as Maggie seemed, she hugged me and said "oh momma" with a smile in her eyes when the morning was over. I love you Buggie Boo.
I believe that it is not the single moments in life that our children remember, it is entire seasons and many moments of fun (or not so fun) grouped together that give our children their lasting memories. The ones that will get them through an achievement test, their ACTs, their first day on a new college campus and the long nights with their very first new baby a few years down the road. I want my children to smile when they reach to the past and find something......for that reason, I wore a multi-colored tu tu, in my old church T-Shirt, with NO makeup, all my lumps and bumps showing and smiled, because as horrified as Maggie seemed, she hugged me and said "oh momma" with a smile in her eyes when the morning was over. I love you Buggie Boo.
moving again......
When I was a kid, I moved...... a lot, all over the city of memphis and even a few states and here I go again.....moving through Cyber Space. I have decided to move everything over here to my new address. I will be adding pictures and updates, answering questions, showing off my family and keeping relatives and friends in far off places up to date on what we do in school, church, travels and daily life. Please visit often, bookmark this page soon, and send your wishes....
Momma Pike
Momma Pike
The history of us (original 11-16-07)
I usually find myself writing about any number of funny silly things that my sweet kids are doing, but today I want you *who ever you are* to know that without pain there is no real deep belly laughs, no tight hugs that you wish wouldn’t end, no excitement to see someone again. Hurt and pain at this stage of my life is not like it used to be. Those two things used to be intimate friends and I was reminded of that this week, when someone said some hurtful things to me. I will not absorb them, I will not see them or hear that stuff as truth, but I will allow them to help me recognize where I am and as a tool to share where anyone can be. I love my life, I have it all, a husband who love me,dare I say likes me even now. That hasn’t always been a truth in my life. I have 6 great children who love me, but I am proud to say usually don’t like me, and I am ok with that. I have a mother who doesn’t always get me or seem to even have shared the same life as me at times because our perspective on the pain is so different, but she does love me, I believe that today, maybe at this point we are beginning to like each-other…. I hope. I have a father I hope loves me, I am not sure, and I am okay with that. I have grandparents who adore me, I mean when I talk to them or see them, or even think of them, I feel adored, loved, valued….everyone needs that, I wish everyone had it. That love has kept me alive at times.
But let me tell you about my aunts….they are different, there love is not the same, and their pain and experiences in life, both there on and the one that they have shared with me have been different and through that I am realizing who I am. I believe that women find them selves often in the women in their life. I am blessed. I have great women to identify with. I have four aunts who have had a lot of stink and a lot of love. Sometimes the pain they have experienced and the hurt they have known haunts me, knowing that their history is a shared history, my history.My grandmother (s), my aunts my mother, these women, their joys and pains, losses and gains they are intricately woven into who I am, even when I am not aware. As I really learn these women, know them as more than my caretakers I realize how generations’ past joys and pains and losses become part of us. These expieriences good and not so good change the people who will be a part of growing us up, either by their presence or absence (both are a huge part of who we are). These pieces will make a whole that becomes both who we are in width and depth. Knowing them,being allowed by each of them in various ways to see their hearts, their great big hearts and spirits, even at a distant glimpse and seeing their joys and pains make me whole, more whole everyday. I learn physicall and emotionally the things I need to know to grow into myself as I get older. Knowing these things helps me know why I choose what I do, why my parents chose eachother, and then chose not to choose me, I understand why my grandparents chose somethings and not others….I understand why my Aunts, my sweet wonderful, kind aunts who have not left me to feel like an orphan continue to choose me. I realize why my cousins (all those boys) choose their on lives and I love them more. Our history is one of choosing each-other in this family,taking care of one another, in spite of pain. With our choices to love even when we don’t agree, to stand by, to take care of eachother, because that is what family is supposed to do we are given a legacy of hope. My grandparents chose Joy and Hope instead of dwelling on pain of loss, something they both lived deeply at a young age. Thank you. They love me though as one of their on, even though they didn’t have to they chose me, they didn’t let me slip away. Their history would have been mine even if I had never had this family choose to follow me wherever I went to hang on to me when I was to young to hang on to them , and then later when I tried to push them away, but they chose me and wouldn’t let me go. That is how family with a deep history works, they choose back their on, even when there is pain. There is always pain, but the joy, the long hugs, the sweet feeling of being wanted, really wanted eventually with the love of people like these outweighs the pain, hopefully not just mine, but theirs too. I am thankful for our history, even the pain.
I Peter 1:6-7
6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
This entry was posted on Friday, November 16th, 2007 at 8:58 am and is
But let me tell you about my aunts….they are different, there love is not the same, and their pain and experiences in life, both there on and the one that they have shared with me have been different and through that I am realizing who I am. I believe that women find them selves often in the women in their life. I am blessed. I have great women to identify with. I have four aunts who have had a lot of stink and a lot of love. Sometimes the pain they have experienced and the hurt they have known haunts me, knowing that their history is a shared history, my history.My grandmother (s), my aunts my mother, these women, their joys and pains, losses and gains they are intricately woven into who I am, even when I am not aware. As I really learn these women, know them as more than my caretakers I realize how generations’ past joys and pains and losses become part of us. These expieriences good and not so good change the people who will be a part of growing us up, either by their presence or absence (both are a huge part of who we are). These pieces will make a whole that becomes both who we are in width and depth. Knowing them,being allowed by each of them in various ways to see their hearts, their great big hearts and spirits, even at a distant glimpse and seeing their joys and pains make me whole, more whole everyday. I learn physicall and emotionally the things I need to know to grow into myself as I get older. Knowing these things helps me know why I choose what I do, why my parents chose eachother, and then chose not to choose me, I understand why my grandparents chose somethings and not others….I understand why my Aunts, my sweet wonderful, kind aunts who have not left me to feel like an orphan continue to choose me. I realize why my cousins (all those boys) choose their on lives and I love them more. Our history is one of choosing each-other in this family,taking care of one another, in spite of pain. With our choices to love even when we don’t agree, to stand by, to take care of eachother, because that is what family is supposed to do we are given a legacy of hope. My grandparents chose Joy and Hope instead of dwelling on pain of loss, something they both lived deeply at a young age. Thank you. They love me though as one of their on, even though they didn’t have to they chose me, they didn’t let me slip away. Their history would have been mine even if I had never had this family choose to follow me wherever I went to hang on to me when I was to young to hang on to them , and then later when I tried to push them away, but they chose me and wouldn’t let me go. That is how family with a deep history works, they choose back their on, even when there is pain. There is always pain, but the joy, the long hugs, the sweet feeling of being wanted, really wanted eventually with the love of people like these outweighs the pain, hopefully not just mine, but theirs too. I am thankful for our history, even the pain.
I Peter 1:6-7
6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
This entry was posted on Friday, November 16th, 2007 at 8:58 am and is
With the future in their hands.....
With the future in there hands…..
I have what I consider a big question, but possibly a no brainer to some of you more experienced mommas. When looking at college ideas my son talks a lot about a wonderful christian college that I would be tickled to have him attend. Now recently I was talking about schools and such, and it came up that maybe God gave us our brains and we are expected to put ourselves out there and go places like Harvard, Princeton, Stanford….et al. you get the idea. After-all, the Presidents, policy makers, movers and shakers came from these schools and don’t want our strong Christian children to fill these positions. The research does bear out, almost all of these positions and the ones in top companies are filled by people with degrees from these institutions.
We have tossed this question around before in my family, some of you may remember I have a son who went to school at the local movers and shakers all boys school, MUS, and there found the future (and sons of current) policy makers and people of power. The school has a great record and boast of future and past graduates of history making institutions of higher education. We had the wit, we had the grades, we just didn’t have the fit inness ( I know that is not a word, but it is my word). I don’t know the answers to these questions I am looking, maybe not so much for an answer for myself , but an answer to the world ( you know the always be prepared to give an answer part of the gospel). Thanks for praying about this and responding with your heart. I want to hear what you have to say…. As Always,
The Crazy momma on the run….
I have what I consider a big question, but possibly a no brainer to some of you more experienced mommas. When looking at college ideas my son talks a lot about a wonderful christian college that I would be tickled to have him attend. Now recently I was talking about schools and such, and it came up that maybe God gave us our brains and we are expected to put ourselves out there and go places like Harvard, Princeton, Stanford….et al. you get the idea. After-all, the Presidents, policy makers, movers and shakers came from these schools and don’t want our strong Christian children to fill these positions. The research does bear out, almost all of these positions and the ones in top companies are filled by people with degrees from these institutions.
We have tossed this question around before in my family, some of you may remember I have a son who went to school at the local movers and shakers all boys school, MUS, and there found the future (and sons of current) policy makers and people of power. The school has a great record and boast of future and past graduates of history making institutions of higher education. We had the wit, we had the grades, we just didn’t have the fit inness ( I know that is not a word, but it is my word). I don’t know the answers to these questions I am looking, maybe not so much for an answer for myself , but an answer to the world ( you know the always be prepared to give an answer part of the gospel). Thanks for praying about this and responding with your heart. I want to hear what you have to say…. As Always,
The Crazy momma on the run….
Out of Nice (9-29-07)
I know and admit I am a mommy with a short fuse and today I announced that “I am out of nice”. I explained to them (the children), that I only had so many nice words, when little and medium size people are repeatedly tattling, whining, arguing, complaining, asking for something and that by 10 am times 6 kids doing this for 2 hours my nice quotient is EMPTY. I did, also let them know, that this is not a positive character quality, that God is none too pleased with my attitude and that over all this makes me a stinky mommy and I am trying and praying to remedy that, but for this day it is what it is and “I AM OUT OF NICE”. Nothing profound,nothing wise to say, just out of nice. Maybe I should follow my on rule, the rule of the universe, if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all. The biq question, what will happen and do I have the courage and the discipline to do that in my home with the children God has blessed me with…..hummmm. Please keep this in mind in the coming days, remember somewhere in Memphis….Suzanne is desperately trying to move against the grain and be nice, even if all of her nice words have run out. Have any ideas on getting nice refills?
This entry was posted on Saturday, September 29th
Skating Seasons (9/24/07)
This is a new time in our lives, in my life in particular. I am not pregnant….sounds odd I know, but this is the first time in almost 15 years I haven’t been pregnant or nursing for more than 24 months or so. I am more aware of this today than I have been since the day we decided, we are done with baby making/nursing season. I came to this conclusion getting ready to go to skateland.I wonder how many of us in our 30 and 40 somethings grew up going to skateland on the weekend. I did and my sweet Donnie did. My kids go on Friday nights only occasionally. But Friday morning watch out here we come. You see in Memphis there is a large skating population in the Homeschool Community and twice a year whether we need to or not I dress all the kids, gather the skates (from the front porch, van, closets) and we go skating with other Homeschool Children. Don’t be mistaken, this is not the only time my children skate, in fact if you have spent 2 minutes on any day that the pool isn’t open at my house you have seen the twins twisting and turning and preparing for the late night debut of Silly Human Tricks with skates on. But for this one day not only will the children have a blast this is the day where all of us mommas (and a few daddies) watch (yes watch ) and laugh (at not with) the parents who skate with the kids (my husband is usually one of these). I love this day everyone is always happy to go to skateland and see old friends and meet new ones. It is the day where we smile when the newest kid in each of our households dons his/her skates for the first time and for me a day when my oldest has decided ‘not this year, I think I have too much going on’ translation ‘I am going to go back to bed when you leave’. So, skating today for me is sad and happy. DJ (who looks exactly like Zachary did) will put skates on his 3 year old feet (the same slip ons that Z had) and Zachary is too cool to hang out at the day skate with the fam. My only boys, the oldest and the youngest. I have these six kids, and I am done, I am happy to be in a new season….but today the season is a little bit like cool rain on a summer day. You need the rain, the rain feels good, you prayed for the rain, but it still makes you shiver just a bit, even if it is ‘play rain’.
Momma.....you can't do that (originally posted October of 2007)
OH YES I CAN….that is my response. Maybe it is just me, maybe it is having six kids and saving hand me downs,or maybe my kids are messier than the average bear, but I can’t have one more Sunday morning prep session (these happen on late Saturday afternoons in our home) where I fuss, they cry, I stomp, they whine……”but I have to where that, I have nooooothinnnnng else that looks right!”. Please keep in mind the ‘that’ they want to wear is a very loved (is this how we really love something) shirt, pants, dress or what have you. My kids, blinded by their intense love can not allow themselves to see that piece of clothing is one of the following thingsA.StainedB.Too BigC.Too SmallD. Wrong SeasonorE. Any combination of 2 or more of the above
For those reasons I have decided to put our Saturday afternoons, our closets, drawers and my sanity out of their misery.I am throwing away uglies. I will not try one more time to get any stains out, I will not commit to sewing something (we all know I don’t sew), I will not ask for a dime at the next yard sale I dread, I will throw it away and I will be free, free, free at last.Before you judge (not that you would of course) my lack of gratitude for all that God has provided, or assume that I am only a picky, brand conscious clothes snob, or that I am not being a good steward, remember that my primary goal is to not be a walking billboard for a very popular show remake that should be named“What Not To Let Your Children Wear”or“How To Get Your Husband To Not Go Out With The Kids’So I am letting go of the ‘what if we need this?’ and the “I am sure someone needs this” idea and I am releasing the burden to the trash, yes the trash…..and it feels good.
For those reasons I have decided to put our Saturday afternoons, our closets, drawers and my sanity out of their misery.I am throwing away uglies. I will not try one more time to get any stains out, I will not commit to sewing something (we all know I don’t sew), I will not ask for a dime at the next yard sale I dread, I will throw it away and I will be free, free, free at last.Before you judge (not that you would of course) my lack of gratitude for all that God has provided, or assume that I am only a picky, brand conscious clothes snob, or that I am not being a good steward, remember that my primary goal is to not be a walking billboard for a very popular show remake that should be named“What Not To Let Your Children Wear”or“How To Get Your Husband To Not Go Out With The Kids’So I am letting go of the ‘what if we need this?’ and the “I am sure someone needs this” idea and I am releasing the burden to the trash, yes the trash…..and it feels good.
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