Out of the Box

Out of the Box....that was the summer theme for our children's department at church. I am a pro at out of a box. Sometimes I must admit I wish for a nice cozy box. A box that could define me. If I had this box, my answers to tough questions would come easily, the answer could always be,"because my box says so." I have no box. The family I was born into doesn't fit into a box, with the exception of my mother (who incidentally may move into the box where we will have to expand our idea of what even I thought was an out of the box experience) most recently my family pretty much closed the box. They don't agree with the way I decorate my box, with lots of children, a slim grocery budget, home education and the Church of Christ. My father's family more recently has helped me build an adult box, showing me again and again that their love for me and support of my dwellings decorations isn't at all dependent on how I am connected to them, but instead that God wanted me to be connected to them. My church family, has been supportive of our family, maybe in spite of my box, maybe because of my box, or out of curiosity of my box....I have never fit in what I thought was the church box. That is okay now, I don't have to misform my family, my children, or my sweet Donnie to fit in a box that wasn't made for us, all of us are different. I did a lot of searching through the Word and even more listening to others about what I thought God may have wanted in my box, I was looking for comfort, lines in the sand....Head covering, wheat grinding, skirt wearing, QF family, it was clear cut and without question, but it didn't fit and I did have to many questions (my husband had answers). I admire families with this AND peace, we were missing the peace, it wasn't our conviction, just me looking for a check list. Now, I love my Space. My Space is a less a box and more a way. I love the Lord, I am grateful for Jesus and I depend on the Spirit of God everyday in order to survive. IN our space, we laugh, we cry, we forgive....often. I do things I thought I would never find possible. In our space we sort things out with teenagers in a way I don't always know the steps to, we love our babies with a tough love I didn't want to embrace and I seek help out side my self. In our space you will occasionally hear swearing, share some boxed wine, but always say grace before dinner and MEAN it. In our space you will pray before you purchase and believe God cares about the occasional pair of flip flops and Grande Mocha Frappacinio with 2 extra shots to get this momma through a Monday morning at MUM. In this space you will find a husband and wife finding their way with out clear cut rules or lines in the sand. On Sunday's and Wednesday's (3 0r 4 other nights a week in the summer) one will fine us at Highland. On Monday and Tuesday mornings you can see us loving the inner city kids that live just a few miles from us and later on those very afternoons I am laying out in the sun with my kiddos, working on a tan listening to country music and being mostly grateful for our smallish city house on the other side of the tracks. Almost everyday you will hear us talk about our highs and lows, hash out seating in the van and the dinner table, talk to kids about their anger and attitudes, then praying. In this space, I will often cry of regret of the way I could have done it better, of grief from the people I miss or the pain of a past that wasn't always safe. In this space you will find people real, live people....living like so many other people, with out clear cut rules or ideas, shaping a new way, their on family way.
Our space can get better, we need to seek more peace and less movement.
I recognize this space with honor.
Honor your space and quit trying to fit in a box.